Cancelled gathering this month Ringwood #Unitarians

For various reasons owing to where we all have to be, we are cancelling the gathering that would usually have taken place on Sunday 10th September.

Our next gathering will be on the second Sunday in October, and we hope to see you that morning between 0915 and 0930!

August 2017 our gathering for reverence on "self honesty" #unitarians

In this holiday month we were very pleased to see most of our regular participants at our latest meeting, although a couple were absent.  As is our usual practice, during our gathering we lit a candle for absent friends, in recognition of their continued relationship with our group.

Our theme was “self honesty”.  We spoke of a life-long ‘coming out’ that isn't about judging others but about being honest about ourselves.  We reflected on being honest with ourselves, and others, about what we think and feel.  About not protecting those we love from knowing they have hurt us, out of our fear that they don’t care enough about us to change.  About not protecting people in public (and hence ourselves too) from that awkwardness that comes from making it clear their view isn’t shared, so as not to inadvertently – or deliberately – protect them with silence.  Manifestly, the path of self honesty is a hard path.

It is so easy to deny people the opportunity to access new learning about and for themselves by reaching in and prescribing solutions based on our own experience, perceptions and needs.  An old teaching from the desert sages of Egypt was that such denial usually has its source in inattention – not our inattention to the other person, but inattention to ourselves, our assumptions, our needs, our wounds and our blind spots.  A temptation to prescribe solutions for others should instead be seen as an indicator that there is a solution needed for ourselves, and working backwards from that, that there is a need or gap in ourselves that should be addressed.

There is a well known story about three monks.  After their first stage of training, the monks were invited to choose their life paths.  The first chose to devote her life to healing the sick.  The second thought there was a role for him in mediation and peace-making.  The third chose the path of contemplation, and shut herself away from the world.

After some years the first monk was worn out with her labours, and saddened by the very many deaths she saw, despite her best efforts and application of the best medical techniques available.  Exhausted, she needed to recuperate so she went on a journey to find her friends.  On reaching the second monk, she found that he too was extremely weary.  Despite his close attention to the words and arguments of others and his rigorous  shuttle diplomacy, the second monk had found that he could never appease all aggrieved parties and could not fix all the situations that presented themselves.  He was easily persuaded to take a break and to travel with his friend to find the third monk.

When the two companions completed the difficult journey to the abode of the third monk they were so tired that they were just about able to put one foot in front of the other.  Their friend looked up and saw them, then guided them to a small cave with very basic living arrangements.  She motioned them to sit down, and sat down herself.  Lifting a bowl containing dirty water that she had just carried back from her well she placed it in front of them all, and said simply: “Look at the water.”  They were so tired, they didn’t bother talking or asking, but merely followed her instruction, and looked.

They saw that the water was mucky.  They kept watching, and after a while the silt in the water began to drop to the bottom, and the bits of twigs floated to the top.  Some considerable time later the clean, clear nature of the water – the water that the monk needed to live – was evident.  The third monk then said, “There is a benefit in maintaining stillness in the face of all the distractions that the world can place in your path.  No matter our good intent, in devoting ourselves to fixing the never-ending demands of the world we lose the chance to fix the muddy nature of our own selves.” 

July 2017 our gathering for reverence on "Love" #unitarians

The theme of the day was “Love”.  Our president for the day brought us a reading from Hinduism, a reading and a prayer from Christianity, and a prayer from Buddhism.  We included our usual silent ritual in which a flame, some bread, some water and an item for fanning oneself are passed around the whole circle of participants.  We do not specify what these elements are to signify to participants.  We prefer to act in silence so that people can derive their own meanings and satisfaction from the ritual.  We also lit candles and spoke of our joys and concerns, which has become a deeply moving part of our meeting for reverence, and which allows us to develop our mutual understanding as the months go by.

Our first reading was from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, and is the famous passage often used at weddings (1 Corinthians Chapter 13 verses 4 to 8).  We were invited to consider which of its well-known clauses we personally would find hard to live up to.  It was a challenge for this Unitarian to narrow it down to only one!  As one would expect at a Unitarian gathering, there were as many different views as there were people present.

Not everyone present felt able to study the reading from Paul in a detached way, as it was felt to come freighted within a very strong context.  I for one was grateful for the frankness that was spoken aloud about that.  Unitarians find it is important that people feel able to be honest about such matters.  Personal integrity matters a great deal to us and we would not be content for someone to feel they had to pretend, or to conceal their honest dissatisfaction or discomfort.  My own view is that many religious groups of all faiths have a tacit convention that disagreements and discomforts are hidden for the sake of conformity and stability.  This diminishes the richness of the whole experience and can cause individuals to feel rejected in the very place where they most seek – and most need to find – the feeling of being included, and of being at home.

Our second reading was translated from the Sanskrit, said to have been written by the poet Kalidasa, and may not be quite so well known:

Look to this day:

For it is life, the very life of life.

In its brief course

Lie all the verities and realities of your existence.

The bliss of growth,

The glory of action,

The splendour of achievement

Are but experiences of time.

For yesterday is but a dream

And tomorrow is only a vision;

And today well-lived, makes

Yesterday a dream of happiness

And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well therefore to this day.....

Our music was a Unitarian hymn with words by June Boyce-Tillman (We sing a love) and a rendition by Joe Cocker of Up Where We Belong:

Who knows what tomorrow brings

In a world few hearts survive

All I know is the way I feel

When it's real, I keep it alive

The road is long

There are mountains in our way

But we climb a step every day

Love lift us up where we belong

Where the eagles cry

On a mountain high

Love lift us up where we belong

Far from the world below

Up where the clear winds blow

And we finished with some famous words by Mother Teresa, before staying to chat over hot drinks.  If you haven't tried our gatherings for reverence yet, do consider giving them a go.  We look forward to hearing YOUR take on what life, the universe and everything is all about.